THERE IS A GNAT

[Frupurai]

Let me just pull out my handy guide book entitled, "How to kill things: big or small."

This might take me a second. Ah, page 37, Gnats.

"A gnat ( /ˈnæt/) is any of many species of tiny flying insects in the Dipterid..." come on, I don't care about that, just tell me how to ki...OH, here we go.

"Gnat extermination is a simple process depending on the number, and type of, gnat/s you are dealing with:

1-3 Gnats, grab a 6x9 hardcover book, preferably one that you are indifferent to. Proceed to squash the bug with said mediocre book.

Note: If one is physically, or mentally, incapable of killing the gnat, it is alright to ask a family member, or close by friend, to kill it for them. If no friends or family members are within your vicinity, then proceed to text/call family member/friend to come over and kill the gnat for you. If at first they refuse, continue texting/calling them until they finally give in and kill the gnat.

Caution: If said gnat is radioactive, or actually the codename for a secret government project, this guide will be ineffectual, and it would be within your interest to pick up our sister book, ""How to kill things: radioactive or secretly funded by the government."