What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

[Beardy]

When I was a kid (I guess about 10 or so), my mum worked for a very small, family run business. They happened to snag a massive client, this guy from Cyprus who was a fucking millionaire. This dude insisted that the next family holiday we had was to Cyprus. He got us to stay in a block of flats he owned. Every night we'd go to his mansion - my parents, me and my two brothers awkwardly sitting around, making chit-chat with him and about twenty of his family.

Anyway, since my family and his had nothing in common, conversation was kind of...slow the whole time. We were in his garden, sat around a big, round table. I was directly opposite him. My mum, desperately trying to come up with a topic of conversation, settled on mentioning my party trick at the time. "Oh, he can put his leg round his head, y'Know". After some goading, I had to show everyone.

Now this had the unfortunate effect of pointing my bumhole right at Mr millionaire. At this point, I let out the loudest fart the world has ever known. It was basically a Sonic Boom. Somehow my mum didn't even hear it! After about 10 seconds shocked silence, she pipes in with "see, isn't that good?".